The dwarf Magni the Ever Eternal, Infinitely Enlightened One, Most Hallowed Elder, He Who Is Above All, has sat outside the gates of Khun Moldur for twelve thousand years. As the dwarven tales go, in the Time Before, it was He who united the dwarven clans into a single people with wisdom and strength. In the peace of His kingship, His wisdom grew ever deeper, as deep as the roots of the mountains. He meditated for four hundred years, never moving, never speaking, taking a breath only once per decade.
Finally, Magni attained dwarven apotheosis, a level of transcendent oneness with the spirit of the planet itself. His body became as stone and the light of creation itself beamed out from within Him. In that moment, He became more than mortal; he became a true God-King. Though His ossified form has never moved since, He remains a figure of veneration for dwarves across the world.
So imagine the horror of the dwarven guards when, performing their morning rounds, they came upon their Hallowed Elder surrounded by flecks of chipped stone. The God-King Himself had been… defiled. Horror upon horrors, some iconoclastic vandal had chiseled His stone body away in the night. Chiseled Him into the likeness of a human woman.
A glacial people, I’ve never seen a dwarf truly angry, let alone a whole city. It hadn’t occurred to them to erect defenses or walls around their immobile Elder. So deep was their adoration, they’d never even conceived anyone would want to perform any harmful act upon Him. They quickly concluded that only a human would be capable of such an act, reasoning I happened to agree with, knowing their devotion. An inspection of Magni confirmed their suspicions. The God-King was covered with human fingerprints, particularly around His, um, breasts.
Other than us diplomats, there are few humans in Khun Moldur, so it didn't take them long to find the perpetrator, some spoony bard and human nationalist by the name of Runvern. For reference, dwarven trials take between 3 to 5 decades to reach a guilty verdict. It took them until the evening to throw Runvern in a volcano.
As head diplomat, I’ve done my best to salvage the situation. ‘This man does not represent humanity’. ‘Let us not let hatred come between our two people’. Alas, in the moments before they tossed Runvern over the edge, his parting comments regarding what he'd done with the manhood of the feminised, humanised Magni were of such a vulgar nature that I fear the dwarven rage cannot ever be quenched.
The human diplomats were expelled this evening. It seems the dwarves are mobilizing for war. The War of Magni’s Member.
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