Didn't dare upload this one over on DeviantArt yet as pretty sure they'll run me out of town with pitchforks :S All the best to everybody currently in the situation over in Florida,
A Florida man has reported severe itching and swelling of the chest and buttocks following contact with flood waters in Palm Beach County. Storm surges struck the nearby Agrigenex chemical plant in the early hours of Wednesday, and there are fears that 10 thousand gallons of the concentrated compound estragene-412, a potent synthetic estrogen analog used in the chemical castration of livestock and manufacture of dairy cows out of superfluous bulls, may have leaked into the surrounding water supply.
While Agrigenex has released a statement assuring Floridians that the leak was a minor one and poses no threat to human health, local hospitals have been inundated with a 1000x fold rise in cases of gynecomastia and acute facial and bodily hair loss in the last 24 hours alone. Emergency personnel working in the area have reported symptoms such as diminished muscle mass and strength, confusion, and distracting impulses.
Wildlife experts at the J.W. Corbett Wildlife Management Area, where work is being done on flood defenses to limit damage to the area, have reported the sudden and almost total absence of male fish, frogs, amphibians and water-dwelling birds.
A provisional advisory by the FDA has advised all local Floridians, but especially men, to avoid contact with flood waters wherever possible, to avoid drinking non-bottled water, and to attempt to reach higher ground as the water levels continue to rise.
We will bring you more on this story as it develops.
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